Try and not put yourself through this unnecessary pain please.

Hey little one, just popping in with some advice.

Question . . .
Would you show your best friend their ex-boyfriends social media page to show them what they’re doing without them?

Answer . . .
No. Exactly. So why on earth do you put yourself through the pain of looking at it. It’s never going to bring you joy looking at it. There are two things you feel when looking at it, either you won’t feel anything, or you will feel a gut wrenching feeling deep in your stomach. So stop it. I care about you little one, and looking at it, keeping an eye on him is not going to help you move on. I know you want to know if he still thinks about you, if he still feels the same way you do…heartbroken. Even if he does; he is (I promise this) NOT going to post it on social media. Who the hell would? Especially if they are trying to show everyone, especially you, that they are so much better without you. So stop trying to hurt yourself, and think for a second. Ask yourself the question, ‘Would I do this to my best friend?’ if ‘no’ then DON’T do it. I care about you, and it sucks when I have to see you put yourself through an unnecessary hell. You are worth so much more than him, and you don’t deserve to feel like this, you know you don’t. You are stuck with yourself for life, so be nice.

Thank you Universe,

Sometimes it’s just so hard.

As always love from Me.

Replaced.

Dear Universe,

How can he forget?

Forget all of those memories? How can he just move on with that girl two weeks after he told me that he hadn’t moved on? How can he be happy with her? Call her the same nicknames he once placed over my name. Share ‘happy couple’ photo’s on instagram on facebook. Making it ‘facebook official’, and saying ‘love you’. Maybe he is in love, and that hurts even more. But I know deep down that this is it. I have to move on, whether he’s truly in love, or just dating a ‘rebound’. It doesn’t matter, I know this. It just doesn’t feel fair, and I’m feeling easily replaced.

Dear Me,

You don’t know that he isn’t crying at night. He doesn’t know what you’re doing, and that is probably killing him, you can’t see what he’s feeling, and the looming pang in your stomach, which is there because you can never know what is in his thoughts, hoping he regrets letting you go, and hoping he thinks that you are much better than he current girlfriend. I have to say, that will come and go. My little girl he can put how ‘amazing’ his life is on social media, and he can have a laugh when he see’s you looking over his way, but that doesn’t mean it’s genuine.  I guarantee, even if he is genuinely in love with his new girlfriend, when you get a new guy in your life it will hurt him as much as it hurt you when you he called another girl ‘babe’. But do you know what? It will hurt him more. Because you waited to be strong enough to love again, when you weren’t heartbroken, when you fully recovered from his scars. You gave love to yourself, instead of trying to find yourself in another person. It will be real, and it will really hit home.

A person who is strong gives themselves time to recover, they give themselves space from relationships, focusing more on themselves than on finding someone else to define them. They build their walls so high that no one who is not worthy will break them again. They are queen’s and they rebuild their castle, of which has fallen, so it is stronger and taller. They will not let a penniless king come in from another county trying to steal her wealth of love and time. She will no longer fall for misguided compliments, or painful ego’s.  And when it comes to the time where she does feel able to have a man in her life, without letting him define her, he comes to her, NOT the other way round. He bows at her feet, and never treats her less than her worth.

She doesn’t give love easily anymore, she waits. Because she knows that her love is worth so much more than a simple 3 letter sentence, and an instagram post. Her love is rare. She is rare, and you my little girl are that girl. You are worth so much more, and I promise you now, your time will come. You are not second best, now act that way.

Mistakes.

Dear Universe,
My safety blanket is gone. I have made the worst mistakes, and the things I have done, they haunt me in my sleep.

My little girl,
Everyone, and I mean everyone makes mistakes. If you don’t then you wouldn’t be living, and that would be a pretty crappy life to be leading, wouldn’t it?
Have you ever played never have I ever as a drinking game? When all of you at a gathering are so drunk you probably couldn’t even say the 27 letters of the alphabet in order? That’s when the truth comes out right? And the stuff you find out is insane. Do you know why they’re insane? Because in order to do these insane things your friends have made their own share of mistakes. I send you mistakes so that you can learn from them. It could turn into a shit-storm yes, but then again it could not. You can’t predict the future so stop trying. I don’t want these negative vibes you’re sending me. Mostly because they’re negative, and mostly because they’re unnecessary. You made a mistake. It’s been done, and my dear you will make plenty more, I’m sure of it. But this is one mistake that you don’t have to make again, learning from it is how you become someone better, someone I’m hoping, and know you will grow up to be. Don’t let that one mistake haunt you. Use it. Use it too learn, use it as a motivation to be a better person, use it as a story to tell your children so that they don’t make the same one you did. So don’t let those thoughts haunt you, let them help you. You never needed a safety blanket anyway, you have the fire of desire in your heart to keep you warm.

Worry less little one, and keep smiling. I’m so proud of how far you have come.

So I fucked up Universe

To my dear Universe,

I fucked up. Not fucked up in a little way, like forgetting to send a birthday card, or accidentally burning someone’s meal. I fucked up in a way which is unforgivable and has wrecked people’s lives. Something which is so overlooked in the 21st century. What is it? No I didn’t cheat, I didn’t kill someone. What I did? I lied.  The horrible consequence of lying, it destroys the trust foundations which you have built with people over the years, and it takes less then 2 seconds to break down those walls. There are things called white lies, such as telling you children that the tooth fairy is real, but then there are the lies which ruin you. I remember my mum saying to me if I was lucky I would learn from other people’s mistakes. Well you can call me cursed, because I manage to go through a check list of all the mistakes you could make.

I have now lost what meant the world to me; my beloved pony, and my family’s trust in me. All because of a boy. Why did I do it? Well, you know that feeling you get when you’re walking over a bridge water below you, and there is that little voice in your head saying to you ‘what would happen if I threw my phone over the bridge?’ Even though you know what would happen you still have to hold your phone extra tightly because you’re scared that sudden adrenaline will come over you and make you throw it in. That is what I felt when I went to meet this boy.

I let people down Universe because I didn’t want to listen to what I knew was right. I put it all on the line for what I knew was wrong. Why I did it? I thought I could get away with it. I couldn’t.

From Me.

Dear Me,

People make mistakes, and yes you made a huge one. Maybe your family will never forgive you, but you have to let go of the past and work on making it better. It’s done, what is the point in sulking about it now? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it.

Love makes you do stupid things, but maybe this is the biggest lesson of your life, maybe you had to go through this, in order to grow, in order to achieve something. If you have learnt this lesson then this is one of the best things that has ever happened to you.

It will get better, it will be okay. Believe in me and I will give you what you desire.

From the Universe.

The Cat

Dear Universe, it’s Me.

So this time I don’t need a reply, this time it’s just a message to say Thank you. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was broken. I asked the universe to send me a sign that I was going to be okay, I asked for stability; asking the universe to show me that it had my back.

If there’s one thing that you learn about me, it’s that I love animals. I have a lovely moggy cat, and a gorgeous mixed breed arab/connemara pony, and nothing makes me happier then them. When all hope is lost, they are there to pick me up from rock bottom. For me, they just get me on a level that people never can. So when a certain tabby cat appeared one day, looked me in the eye and then walked off, something clicked. I felt okay, I felt like my life wasn’t over, that I would rise again. However the next day I woke up with the breakup on re-run in my mind, and I felt like giving up on the world again. I came into work, the same time I do everyday, and sat at my desk. I was doing some paperwork when I looked outside and there I saw the same gorgeous tabby which had visited me the previous day. It returns everyday, and gives me hope.

When you feel like giving up, when you feel so low that you can’t bear staying awake, because being awake means that have to continue feeling like this. Ask for a sign. Give into the Universe and ask for hope. There is nothing to lose, but so much that you could gain.

From Me.

 

A Little Bit of Inspiration Please Universe?

Dear Universe, It’s me.

I read today that I have to put out positive vibes in order for good things to happen, but I’m feeling so low. All I can think about is negative things. What do I do? How can I fix things?

Dear Me,

You can’t feel happy all of the time, it’s okay to feel upset and down sometimes. If you didn’t, people would probably label you as a psychopath. You’re human, and so that means that you have the right to feel what you feel and do what you want to do. What I don’t want you to do is let that negativity control you, and become you. You can be negative, allow yourself to feel shitty sometimes, really feel your emotions, maybe even cry, but then pick yourself up and think of what you DO have in your life which makes you happy. Think about what is making you feel this way, and in 5 years will the thing your worrying about actually matter? Or if you died tomorrow, would you still care about that person who cares nothing about you? No. You would spend time with the people who support you, who make you feel whole, and love you for who you are. Don’t let negativity steal that away from you. I’m here to help, but I can’t do it all.

You’ll get better, I promise. Just give it time, and remember to be grateful for what you do have. Don’t give up hope, I’ve got big things planned for you little one.

From the Universe.

Coincidence? Can’t be.

Dear Universe,

Thank you for looking after me. As I said in my last blog post, I got broken up with. As many of you who’ve been dumped know, everything reminds you of your ex-lover. Last week, all I could listen too was Shania Twain, mostly because ALL of the other music I had on my ipod, that I usually listen to I associated with him, and our memories. So it was a no go. So when I found Shania Twain’s album ‘Up’ on my ipod it reminded me of the roadtrips I used to have with my mum, where we would shout out word for word every song she sung, and where I had no worries at all.

It was a Friday night, and I suddenly felt REALLY down, I missed him. I missed how we normally spent every weekend together, and that from now on I’m on my own. My mum, dad and I were flicking through the television, trying desperately to get my mind off him, and us. Suddenly there it was – Shania Twain on tour in Las Vagas! Some people would call that a coincidence. It’s a good job I know otherwise eh? What was even weirder was that my favorite song of hers ‘The One’ she sun on horse-back. Now you’re probably thinking, okay, well what does that have to do with anything. Well, I have a horse myself, who has saved my life more times than I can count, she’s been there throughout everything I go through. The horse she was riding was identical. Several things hit me that night. One – I can actually use the secret on anything I want, and two – I should be grateful for everything I do have. My horse has been there for me throughout everything, and all I could think about was a guy who didn’t give a fuck about me. It’s all about perspective.

Thanks Universe, for showing me gratitude.

Dear Me,

I’m always here for you. That’s my job.

Love from the Universe.