To my dear Universe,

I fucked up. Not fucked up in a little way, like forgetting to send a birthday card, or accidentally burning someone’s meal. I fucked up in a way which is unforgivable and has wrecked people’s lives. Something which is so overlooked in the 21st century. What is it? No I didn’t cheat, I didn’t kill someone. What I did? I lied.  The horrible consequence of lying, it destroys the trust foundations which you have built with people over the years, and it takes less then 2 seconds to break down those walls. There are things called white lies, such as telling you children that the tooth fairy is real, but then there are the lies which ruin you. I remember my mum saying to me if I was lucky I would learn from other people’s mistakes. Well you can call me cursed, because I manage to go through a check list of all the mistakes you could make.

I have now lost what meant the world to me; my beloved pony, and my family’s trust in me. All because of a boy. Why did I do it? Well, you know that feeling you get when you’re walking over a bridge water below you, and there is that little voice in your head saying to you ‘what would happen if I threw my phone over the bridge?’ Even though you know what would happen you still have to hold your phone extra tightly because you’re scared that sudden adrenaline will come over you and make you throw it in. That is what I felt when I went to meet this boy.

I let people down Universe because I didn’t want to listen to what I knew was right. I put it all on the line for what I knew was wrong. Why I did it? I thought I could get away with it. I couldn’t.

From Me.

Dear Me,

People make mistakes, and yes you made a huge one. Maybe your family will never forgive you, but you have to let go of the past and work on making it better. It’s done, what is the point in sulking about it now? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it.

Love makes you do stupid things, but maybe this is the biggest lesson of your life, maybe you had to go through this, in order to grow, in order to achieve something. If you have learnt this lesson then this is one of the best things that has ever happened to you.

It will get better, it will be okay. Believe in me and I will give you what you desire.

From the Universe.

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